an apple a day keeps the sin away

That is how a patient, not knowing who was calling, answered his phone today. I found it an interesting theory though doubtful of it's accuracy.

I think I might make a new VM greeting for my phone. I think it will go something like: I you have reached my voicemail, please leave a message after the tone and remember just keep smiling! Or... just an apple a day keeps the sin away beeeeeeeeeeep

I feel loopy

hey you

How have you been? I have been MIA, sorry about that. I don't have any good excuse so why bother trying.

Change is all around me. I like it. It is stressful when change starts to happen, but it is much needed and when the process has finished it will be for the good. The changes taking place in my life right now will be great.

After much back and forth I have decided to go back to my maiden name. Every time I signed my name it felt like a lie. I just am not that person. I am slowly transitioning all my correspondance back to the name I was given and it feels kind of liberating.

I am about to move to a new apartment. I have never lived by myself before so this is a huge deal but I think I will be happy! I think it is the next step in moving on, growing. I need this experience.

I have to go back to work... bleck

and that's the truth pfffffft

There is a song that plays on the radio a bunch of times a day. It is called Marry Me I think and I have no idea who it is by and I don't care to know. When it comes on though it has this calming effect on me. Suddenly I am sitting next to a babbling brook on a perfect weather day.

It is 5:01 and I am still at work. yep...

cat scratch fever

I was kind of half asleep... not sure what woke me up perhaps I could sense the impending doom that was about to land on my face. Koopa is a strange cat. He has never had a very good sense of balance and when he runs, something just looks... off. The vet never seems to be worried so I just accept the fact that physically and emotionally my cat is special. He rarely leaves my room because there are two other cats here that are very dominant and Koop likes to make love not war. Ever since my other cat died he just hasn't been the same. He is happy to snuggle and be petted, he just doesn't want to leave my room which makes giving him enough love an affection difficult. So back to my story. Koopa, in typical fashion, is getting restless for me to wake up. He is walking across my pillows to me to nuzzle my head and purr loudly in my ear. I know it is coming. What I don't anticipate is a loss of balance by my less than graceful cat and a big angry, scrambling for dear life paw in my face. Not just my face but more specifically my eye. I know have a mean red scratch starting under my eye which ends at about the middle of the bridge of my nose. He also managed to get a claw in down near my nose. Thank goodness my eye was shut. So 5am wake up call...awesome. I am glad it isn't picture day at school.

1.2.3 4.5.6. that's how the numbers go

Finn is currently sitting in our favorite chair sans diaper. I am nervous. He is refusing to wear one, not that I couldn't hold him down and put one on him but we have been talking a lot about being a big boy and using the potty and though I don't think he is quite ready, I want to establish some trust between us. He says he will not pee or poop on anything but when I ask him if he will tell me when he has to pee he says no. hmmm what to do. Oh I know.. a blog entry

Today I am exhausted. I slept pretty badly I guess. My back hurts.. blah blah boo hoo

....pee on the floor. Saw that one coming. Diaper is back on. It is a slow process and we are on our way

It is weird isn't it?

The past couple days I have had some blah days. My life is about to change again which isn't a bad thing. I hate being stagnant. I love change.... though it can provoke a lot of anxiety and. I do feel a bit overwhelmed.

I am on the move again. Looking for a new apartment and I had no idea it would be this difficult. Did you know that people don't really put ads in the paper anymore??

I am excited for the next chapter. I am ready for it. Open arms.

Other than the move I have been struggling a bit with some things in my life... things that are kind of affecting my relationship. Having a child and being "single" is really strange. I don't know how to do it and I don't know how to have an Ex who has to be so involved. I know that from the outside my life looks strange. Even for someone who has experience with divorce with children. It isn't often that the mother and father are still amicable. I am not sure how to resolve certain things in my life yet but I at least know there are things that I need to maybe look at and see from other points of view. I don't mean to be so cryptic but I am just not ready to put it all out there for my readers to see. Just know I am a work in progress and I am still learning how to be a mother, an ex and a girlfriend.

On that note... time for a run with the beau! squuueeeel

out out damn spot

I saw my mother's name change colors on the board and my stomach sank. She is in the operating room and I am out here just waiting to get word it is done and all is well. It is weird having roles reversed. Notht hat she actually lets me take care of her but still... I am the one sitting in a waiting room worrying... I am used to being the patient as I have had my fair share of health problems. It is a bit surreal. I know the outcome will be fine but what do you do with yourself and your thoughts while you wait to make sure. I think that I now know what my mom felt like when she couldn't be in the room with me for certain medical procedures including the birth of my son. You feel helpless as the outsider and even though you wouldn't change anything by physically being in the room with someone you still want to be there. I have been keeping myself plenty distracted between my family members who are here and the internets and text messages. I checked out some tattoo pics online, spent more time on facebook this morning than in the last three months and snuck in some ENews daily. I love waiting rooms that have cable and people who don't care if I watch crap. It seems like an eternity since I got here this morning. It has been almost three hours but I feel like it have been a full work day. Mercy cafeteria food isn't half bad. I had a breakfast sandwich. I would say it was a step up from a gas station sandwich haha, but no where near Mr Bagel. mmmm Ok... my attention span is gone.